The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize