Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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