1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
