I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
