When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
