I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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