I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We talked him into tasing himself.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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