the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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