wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize