are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
