He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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