so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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