I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
