i just identified you from a description of your pipe
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
