whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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