U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
