worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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