I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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