Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
