listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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