Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My vagina just clenched in fear
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
