Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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