On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
