Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
