Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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