do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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