Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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