He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
