Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
