My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
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He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
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Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize