just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"