I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
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You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
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I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.