i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
organizing the empties. That sober.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now