if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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