brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
