i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
