I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
