Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize