The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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