winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
