i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I've blown a few things in my day
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
