pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize