Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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