oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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