Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
