i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
