I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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