he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
it's like heaven, but drunker
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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