That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
