They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
