I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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