Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
