Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
