He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
