I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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