ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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