just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
