So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
