do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
