Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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