Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
