So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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