White coat. Heels.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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