Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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