hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
