I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
