I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
